Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Drat… I don’t believe this, I just fell asleep. Just pretend you don’t hear it Sarojini, you poor sleep deprived soul and maybe it will just fade into a cuckoo singing its special tune in your dreams. But oh no, it just gets louder and louder, shrieking, angry and bad tempered. I think my morning alarm is alive. Really, it’s a cruel living soul trapped in my tiny trendy Sony Ericson phone and because I’m the one who imprisoned it there, its sole motive is to make my life miserable. Why else will it never fail to scream its lungs out exactly when I am in the most blissful harmony with my inner self? “ Whaaa what ??”, my head jerks up, pounding and disoriented and with one eye slightly open I grab into thin air at my nemesis. I hit a button with the well trained finger and phew, well deserved silence.

Ok let’s pretend that never happened, the soothing voices inside me say, to help me get back into my trance but the fear has been awakened in my heart. Now the next 10 minutes when I have permission to snooze is like standing in front of an invisible enemy; I don’t know when the next attack will be but I know its coming…

Don’t they see there is a problem here? And that when there is a need there is a potential market? What I need is a device which will make an attempt to substitute to my mother’s gentle hand on my cheek and the lilting voice singing “Good Morning lovely Sunshine, you greet me every day…” in my ears. Little dreamer… that’s what my sister called me!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

"Its no big whoop - I've been married forever"

My mom and dad have been married 33 years today. That’s my whole lifetime plus 5. I called my mom to ask her how she spent her day and she replied in her always-cheerful tone that since my Dad was out of town on work for almost the whole week she did ‘special’ prayers in the morning and then visited my grand mom. And I immediately felt safe and warm all over like every time I feel when I hear her say she prayed …because that’s the time I feel closest to God…in my Mom’s prayers.

She laughed and said she had forgotten it was her Anniversary until my Dad who has to date never forgotten anything (and I’d bet my life on that) called her early morning to wish her. And that just reminded me yet again just how much more secure they were than I’ve ever been in any of my crushes or serious relationships planning and celebrating my ‘anniversaries’ to the fullest! Will our generation ever be just so certain and secure of itself to be able to oh so casually say ‘It’s my 33rd wedding anniversary’ in the same smiling tone as ‘Have a nice day’ someday?? Its really not something I am very worried about but just curious how we’ll turn out with the number of breakups and divorces we’ve got to deal with.

Are we really so different from our parents that what for them is as regular an event as advancing age will be something we celebrate on the rooftops or atleast proclaim as an achievement. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if it’s true that we’re just our parents all over again :-))

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I am so mad I could...

...Take a course in Anger Management! Have you ever felt so angry at someone that you want to physically assault them or shout at the top of your voice at them? But you don’t assault them in most cases except if it is your spouse or partner I suppose… well actually not at your spouse or partner either, as they probably will respond with something worse … Often its not even a person but a situation that gets to you. And its such a totally wierd feeling because fighting or getting annoyed with someone/something actually makes you feel rotten – WHY???!

And if the coworker/friend/partner/guy in the traffic forgives you because your sum good qualities out-weigh your nasty ‘temper’ the truth is that’s not really the solution. I think I probably need a session in anger management for sure and so does everyone else I know. Research shows that feeling anger is normal human behavior but what we have not been encouraged to do in society is express or channelize that anger. Anger mismanagement apparently leads to unemployment, depression, divorce and even wars!

When you are angry you just expect things to go your way. Sometimes it is just mild irritation, which could build into a strong feeling of frustration or even wild rage- it might be for something as silly as being corrected over a small mistake you made. So I set out on the journey to learn how to manage my currently uncontrollable anger…

Apparently there are a couple of ways to deal with anger and I’m going to try them all. One is just RELAX!!! You know, Yoga and all that stuff really works when your heart rate increases and brood pressure rises. Calm down, breathe deep and think pleasant thoughts because at the end of the day anger hurts the angry one the most!

Hit anger with logic – stop dramatizing and making the situation, person or problem huge because it isn’t. There’s a worse problem or situation just around the corner. Just take on the problem and try to fix it if possible. But don't give in to the problem and suppress the A word, the big guys say... then it will just blow up on your face one fine day.

My personal favourite that I often misuse- Humour… Imagining something funny when you feel angry helps diffuse the tension but beware sarcastic humour can be a killer (and I do that way too often for my own good)!

I don’t know if this will work but am sure going to try before I end up in a shrink’s office :-)

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Number 1 Citizen...

I am so proud of India’s First Citizen! I knew he was born in Tamil Nadu and being from the same state myself I was curious about his childhood. I started reading and couldn’t stop – he has had such a full life and is just continuing to make it richer. Just touching upon the subject, he is by far the most popular of Indian leaders and he is actually a living example to watch and learn from! Dr. Abdul Kalam started his schooling in Rameswaram, in Tamil Nadu. Today, around 800,000 young students across the country are proud to have met him.

I think what makes him so popular is his obvious sincerity in his mission. He believes that Indian children and students are the future of the country and he wants a role in shaping this future. And he’s doing a wonderful job at it! He travels across the country meeting students and instilling in them faith in one of the most powerful tools – knowledge. His quotes from ancient Tamil literature and thoughts are moving especially for an Indian because they are relevant.

Living abroad temporarily, I hear non-Indians being aware of religious tensions and discrimination in our country. Thankfully we have a leader who reads the Qu’ran and the Bhagavad Gita for his spiritual growth and knowledge. Do post in other interesting fact about the Number One Citizen if you have any.


Wednesday, November 23, 2005

and I join the crowd...

Just joined this group of bloggers because it seems like a fun thing to do! I can actually say what I think even if there isn't anybody to listen to it :-) Hope to hear from other bloggers!